The Nerdiot

Romantic Comedy Screenplay / Script

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THE NERDIOT


INT. RESTAURANT - DAY


(DEVIN is sitting in a cafe at a table alone. He has a sketch pad and is sketching a woman sitting in the chair across from him. He lifts and lowers the notepad. Everything matches the actual setting except for the woman is not there. He looks outside and sees the woman in his picture standing at a bus stop)


STELLA 

(from behind)

I like your picture.


DEVIN 

(closes his notepad embarrassed) 

Thanks.


STELLA 

Would you like your usual?


DEVIN 

My usual?


STELLA 

Latte and bagel lightly toasted. Or is it

a breakfast sandwich kind of day?


DEVIN 

Do I order the same thing that often?


STELLA 

I don’t mind. It makes my job easier.


DEVIN 

Are you usually my waitress?


(STELLA raises an eyebrow and frowns)


STELLA 

Yes… you didn’t notice?


DEVIN

I mean… I did… but not always…


(STELLA’s voice is colder)


STELLA 

Always. So what will it be?


DEVIN 

Um…


STELLA 

I’ll come back.


(STELLA leaves. DEVIN turns the page to another sketch of the woman at the bus stop. This time it is him in the drawing with her standing together, her leaning on him - he lifts and lowers it, seeing her alone in reality but them together in the drawing. STELLA brings a latte)


STELLA 

You always get the latte.


DEVIN 

Thanks.


STELLA 

Have you ever spoken to her?


DEVIN 

What? Oh… no… I don’t know her…


STELLA 

And you’ve been coming here this long… you’re a stalker!


DEVIN 

No, I’m not.


STELLA 

You totally are.


DEVIN 

No, no, I’m not dangerous. I’m nothing to her.  I’m barely even here.


(DEVIN sighs. STELLA looks concerned)


STELLA 

The bus won’t be here for a few minutes. Let’s go meet her.


(STELLA tries to get him up)


DEVIN 

No! What if she… I can’t… 

This isn’t the right time.


(STELLA drops him back in his chair)


STELLA 

Fine. I’ll be right back.


(STELLA heads outside and toward the woman at the bus stop. DEVIN freaks out. He stands and then sits and then stands and then sits and misses the chair, falls and pulls himself up in the chair again and tries to hide behind his sketchbook.  Meanwhile, STELLA is talking to WOMAN and pointing at DEVIN. WOMAN smiles and laughs and waves at DEVIN when he peeks above the notebook and then hides again. The bus comes and WOMAN waves goodbye to DEVIN. STELLA comes back inside. DEVIN turns very red, slumps and his eyes narrow)


STELLA 

So you want the bagel?


DEVIN 

What did you do that for?


STELLA 

I was trying to help. 


DEVIN 

I didn’t want help.


STELLA 

Didn’t you want to meet her? 


DEVIN 

I… I liked the idea of meeting her. 


STELLA 

Wouldn’t the reality be better?


DEVIN 

It never is.


STELLA 

That’s the problem with you nerds. You’re so caught up in fantasy, you can’t even enjoy reality anymore.


DEVIN 

Are you allowed to talk to customers like this?


STELLA 

Some of you nerds are so stupid. You’re just nerdiots. Yeah, that’s what I’ll call you nerdiots. 


DEVIN 

Maybe I should talk to your manager or something.


STELLA 

You wouldn’t know a good reality if it bit you on the ass. 


(STELLA looks like she is going to yell but stops, calms herself and turns to go) 


STELLA

I’ll get you a bagel. On me.


(STELLA exits. DEVIN sighs and watches her go. He turns to another page in his notebook and starts drawing. STELLA gets bagel ready and flashes back to her talk with WOMAN at the bus stop)


EXT. BUS STOP - DAY


STELLA 

Hi, I’m Stella. I’m from the restaurant there. I know this is kind of weird, but I was wondering if you could do a quick favor for me. There’s this customer in there, my favorite customer. He comes every day. He’s a great guy and I wanted to do something nice for him.


(WOMAN looks at DEVIN)


WOMAN 

Um… okay.


STELLA 

Well, he’s an artist and he loves drawing people. That’s why he sits there… drawing people and he needs someone to wave at him to get the picture right. All you have to do is smile and laugh and wave.


WOMAN 

Like this?


(WOMAN smiles and laughs and waves at DEVIN)


STELLA 

Perfect. I really appreciate it.


WOMAN 

You really like that guy don’t you? 


STELLA 

I do.


(BUS pulls up)


WOMAN 

He’s not too nerdy for you?


STELLA 

I kind of like them nerdy. 


WOMAN 

He’s a keeper then.


(WOMAN waves goodbye to DEVIN and exits - STELLA looks at DEVIN cowering behind his notebook and sighs, unable to hide her smile)


INT. RESTAURANT - DAY


(STELLA returns to DEVIN with bagel. DEVIN looks at her with a fussy face, rips a page out of his notebook and slaps it face down on the table)


DEVIN 

There’s your tip.


(DEVIN grabs his bagel and leaves. STELLA just stands there and watches him go sadly. She picks up the piece of paper and it is a sketch of her. The sketch of her looks like one that DEVIN had been drawing for awhile, but it has been altered to make her look like a wicked queen with horns, looking fierce and evil. This makes her burst into laughter)


STELLA 

What a nerdiot.


(She carefully the paper and slips it into her apron)


EXT. BUS STOP - DAY


(WOMAN waits for her bus. STELLA standing in the window of the restaurant next to the empty table where DEVIN usually sits. DEVIN appears outside and runs up to the WOMAN)


DEVIN 

Hi… uh… remember me. 

I’m the guy from the restaurant.


(DEVIN points to the restaurant and STELLA realizes their looking and she pretends to clean the window)


WOMAN 

You’re the friend of the waitress. The artist.


DEVIN 

Friend? Uh… yes, I’m an artist. 

I drew you this picture. 


(DEVIN hands her a drawing he did of her in anime style, waving next to a sci fi looking bus. WOMAN smiles and takes it)


WOMAN 

That’s really interesting. Thank you.


DEVIN 

You’re welcome. I’m happy you like it.


(The bus arrives and she turns to get on)


DEVIN 

My name’s Devin…


WOMAN 

Nice, to meet you, Devin. 


(WOMAN gets on the bus, stops and holds up the drawing and waves like it)


DEVIN 

Bye!


(DEVIN gives a shy, silly wave. He grins and strolls to the restaurant)


INT. RESTAURANT - DAY


(STELLA watches as DEVIN approaches. She gets his table ready. DEVIN walks in and sees her waiting at the table)


DEVIN 

Hey, Stella. Guess what? I talked to her.

I gave her a drawing.


(STELLA speaks casually, almost uninterested)


STELLA

That’s exciting.


(DEVIN sits in his usual spot. He wipes his hands on a napkin)


DEVIN 

I can’t believe I did it. I was so nervous. 

I’m sweating like a pig.


(STELLA smirks at this)


STELLA 

So what’s her name?


DEVIN 

Her name… uh… I don’t know. 

I told her my name but she didn’t tell me hers.


STELLA

Oh.


(STELLA raises an eyebrow at this. She’s sighs and smiles at him. Her tone becomes more friendly)


STELLA 

No worries. That will keep things mysterious. I know you like that.


DEVIN 

I guess. That’s not a bad sign is it? 

That she didn’t tell me her name.


(STELLA shrugs)


STELLA 

How should I know? You want your usual?


DEVIN 

I’m going to do something different today.


STELLA 

Breakfast sandwich?


DEVIN 

No, really different.


STELLA 

Are you sure? You end up not liking it 

and ordering your usual anyway.


DEVIN 

I’m sure… I want to try something new. 


STELLA 

I’ll get your latte.


DEVIN 

No…


STELLA 

Wow, this is a special day. No latte?


DEVIN 

How about a cappuccino?


STELLA 

Bold choice. Coming right up. Here’s a menu.


(STELLA hands DEVIN a menu and DEVIN looks at it with excitement)


DEVIN 

What will it be today? What will be my new favorite?


INT. KITCHEN - DAY


(STELLA makes the cappuccino and watches DEVIN sadly from the kitchen. MARGE, the cook, walks over from the grill and joins her in watching DEVIN)


MARGE 

Why so glum? Your favorite customer is here.


STELLA 

He finally talked to her.


MARGE 

Who? The woman at the bus stop?


STELLA 

Yup. And I think I helped him do it.


MARGE 

Oh, I see. You’re not so sure you wanted to help?


STELLA 

I hoped he’d give up once she knew he was watching but instead he actually went and talked to her. 


MARGE 

Was she nice to him?


STELLA

Kind of… not really… but nice enough 

to encourage him.


MARGE 

Maybe you should encourage him too.


(STELLA shrugs and exits with the cappuccino)


INT. RESTAURANT - DAY


(STELLA delivers the cappuccino. DEVIN looks up from the menu)


DEVIN 

I will try the pancakes.


STELLA 

Another bold choice.


DEVIN 

Or the French toast.


(STELLA tries not to laugh)


STELLA 

Okay.


DEVIN 

Which you recommend?


STELLA 

I would pick what you know you like, because you are happier when you go with something familiar. There’s nothing wrong with comfortable when it makes you happy.


(DEVIN looks at the menu again)


DEVIN 

I’ll try the pancakes.


(STELLA sighs)


STELLA 

Coming right up.


(DEVIN takes a drink of the cappuccino and frowns. STELLA smirks and heads for the kitchen)


DEVIN 

Hey, Stella?


(STELLA stops but doesn’t turn to face him)


DEVIN 

Thanks for helping me… with the woman at the bus stop.


(STELLA turns to him with a blank expression)


STELLA 

No problem.


(She turns away again, but stops when he keeps talking)


DEVIN 

I’m sorry I was a jerk about it. You were just trying to help and I wasn’t very nice to you. I feel bad about that. You’re a good friend. I shouldn’t have treated you that way, especially when you were just trying to do something nice. I realized that I don’t come here just to see her. I come her because I enjoy seeing you too.


(STELLA brightens as he speaks… then…)


DEVIN 

Thanks for your friendship. 


(STELLA’s expression darkens again and she goes to the kitchen. DEVIN watches her go)


EXT. BUS STOP - DAY


(WOMAN is waiting at the bus stop. DEVIN appears around the corner and waves at her. She reluctantly waves and rolls her eyes when she sees he is approaching her. DEVIN struggles with his bag, almost drops it and then produces a flyer to an anime convention)


DEVIN 

Here. I wanted to give you this.


WOMAN 

What is it?


DEVIN 

It’s an anime convention that will be in town this weekend. I’m going to be there. I’m an artist and I will have a table there. I’ll be selling my art. And I’d love it if you’d come… you could come see me… you don’t have to buy anything. I’ll give you something for free even. In fact, I’ll give you a free pass to get in. I get a few free passes because I’m a vendor and you can have one. I don’t have anyone else there will me. Just me by my lonesome. You don’t have to come for long. Just long enough to say hi.


(The bus pulls up)


WOMAN 

My bus is here.


(DEVIN holds out the pass. She reluctantly takes it)


DEVIN 

See you this weekend! Have a great Friday. TGIF!


(WOMAN disappears into the bus and he watches it go and stands there for a minute. STELLA cleans the window of the restaurant behind him. DEVIN turns and sees her and waves happily and heads inside)


INT. RESTAURANT - DAY


DEVIN 

I did it. I invited her to the anime convention where I’m going to have a booth. I’m selling my art there. I even gave her a free pass. I hope she comes. Here’s a flyer. You should come too.


STELLA 

No free pass for your pal?


DEVIN 

Well… uh… no… I only had one extra. 


STELLA 

I’ll hang up your flyer. Maybe someone will want to go.


DEVIN 

Um… ok… thanks.


(STELLA looks at the flyer)


STELLA 

Why anime? Why don’t you draw something else? It all looks the same, like you’re all just copying each other. 


DEVIN 

If you don’t like it… maybe you shouldn’t come to the convention.


(DEVIN closes his art notebook and glares at her)


STELLA 

I didn’t say I was coming.


(STELLA turns briskly and goes to the kitchen)


INT. KITCHEN - DAY


(STELLA makes a latte and looks at his flyer. She sighs and folds the flyer up and puts it in her apron)


INT. RESTAURANT - DAY


(STELLA walks up to DEVIN’s table with the latte but he is gone. She goes up to the window to look for him up and down the street but he isn’t there. She sits at his table and sips the latte)


INT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY


(Crowds filter through a convention center filled with anime themed booths. People dressed in anime costumes wander through the crowds and pose with people for pictures. DEVIN sits alone at his booth with his art on display. His booth is in a less crowded, less traveled part of the convention. No one stops to look. He looks at his watch and back and forth down the row of booths)


DEVIN 

She’s not coming.


(Suddenly, STELLA appears at the end of the row. DEVIN’s eyes get big and he stands up and waves to her. STELLA smiles and goes up to him)


DEVIN 

You came.


STELLA 

I wanted to show support for my favorite customer.


DEVIN 

Thanks.


(STELLA looks at his art)


STELLA 

So how are things going?


DEVIN 

Not great. I haven’t sold anything. 


STELLA 

Did… she come?


DEVIN 

Who?


STELLA 

What’s her name? The woman from the bus stop. I don’t even know her name. 


DEVIN 

I don’t know her name either… no… she didn’t come.


STELLA 

Sorry.


DEVIN 

What’s wrong with me?


STELLA 

What do you mean?


DEVIN 

Why am I so out of touch with reality? Look at me. I’m not good enough to be here. Nobody is buying anything. And… why didn’t I think that woman would like me? I’m not in her league at all.


STELLA 

I’m sorry about that… I feel responsible for that. 


DEVIN 

You just trying to help. You’re the only one trying to help. You’re the only one coming here.


(STELLA picks up some art. It is a finished version of her as the wicked queen)


STELLA 

You finished it. This one’s my favorite. I’ll buy it.


DEVIN 

You can have it. That’s your next tip in advance. 


STELLA 

Thanks. 


(DEVIN gets her a nice plastic cover for the picture and she looks at it happily. Then she looks at him. He’s looking glum. She puts her hand on his)


STELLA 

What’s wrong, Devin?


DEVIN 

What am I doing here? What did I do? I quit my job to become a full time artist. I thought I was ready. But… look… nothing…


(DEVIN stops, finding it hard to speak)


STELLA 

Have you tried something different? Some other kind of art. You’re good at this, but it all kind of looks the same to me. What else can you do?


DEVIN 

Nothing.


STELLA 

I doubt that’s true. 


(STELLA goes behind his table and sits)


STELLA 

Draw me, but not anime. Draw me some other way.


DEVIN 

Like what?


STELLA 

Like how you’re feeling… 


DEVIN 

How I’m feeling…


(DEVIN starts sketching STELLA. He starts out blue with the background, but then looks at STELLA’s smile and selects red and she comes to life in the middle of the picture. The style is weird and rough but not anime. A couple stops and watches him)


GUY 

That’s really cool looking. 


GAL 

Do you take commissions? Could you draw us?


(DEVIN looks at STELLA who smiles and nods excitedly)


DEVIN 

Okay, sure…


(STELLA motions for the couple to come behind the table and she snags another chair from another booth. The couple sits and DEVIN stares at a new blank page for a second)


STELLA 

Just feel it. Don’t overthink it. Don’t try to make it look like something else. Improvise. Have fun with it.


(STELLA starts to give him a shoulder rub and he relaxes. He starts drawing. Other people stop to watch)


OTHER 

That looks cool.


STELLA 

He takes commissions.


(STELLA gives out DEVIN’s card)


OTHER 

Thanks!


(Time has passed and DEVIN gives the couple the picture. They smile and hug and give him some money)


GUY 

Very cool.


GAL 

I’ve never seen anything like it. Thanks again!


(DEVIN sits happily, pulls out a big cash box and puts the money in the empty box. He looks at STELLA and grins)


DEVIN 

I really appreciate your help. This means a lot to me.


STELLA 

I’m glad I could help.


DEVIN 

More than you can imagine. But I have to ask… why are you helping me? 


STELLA 

Because I like you.


DEVIN 

I’m lucky to have a friend like you.


STELLA 

No, Devin. I like you, you nerdiot. The other kind of like you.


DEVIN 

You mean… uh… I don’t know what you mean.


STELLA 

Take off your steampunk blinders and take a good look around you. You’re so stuck in seeing things one way that you don’t know what’s really going on. 


DEVIN 

What is really going on?


STELLA 

I’ll see you later, Devin. 


DEVIN 

You’re going?


STELLA 

I am.


DEVIN 

Thank you… 


(STELLA waves and leaves. DEVIN takes off his glasses and looks at them confused, playing with the settings and lenses)


INT. RESTAURANT - DAY


(STELLA looks at DEVIN’s usual table which is empty and then looks outside at the WOMAN at the bus stop. STELLA watches the WOMAN board the bus and leave. STELLA sighs and heads for the kitchen. The bell on the door to the restaurant jingles. STELLA turns and sees DEVIN.  STELLA goes up to him as he sits)


STELLA 

You’re late.


DEVIN 

Why? You leaving for the day?


STELLA 

No… I just thought you liked to… you know… check out the scenery.


(DEVIN looks into her eyes and smiles)


DEVIN 

The scenery I want to check out is still here.


(STELLA blushes and looks away)


STELLA 

Oh… uh… latte?


DEVIN 

You make the best latte I’ve ever had.


STELLA

Thanks.


(STELLA goes to kitchen embarrassed)


INT. KITCHEN - DAY


(STELLA makes the latte. Her face appears flushed. MARGE goes over to her)


MARGE 

You’re blushing like bride on her honeymoon. What did he say to you?


STELLA 

He’s just being nice… for a change.


MARGE 

And you like it.


STELLA 

Shut up.


(STELLA shoots some steam at MARGE from the latte machine and MARGE yelps)


INT. RESTAURANT - DAY


(STELLA goes up to table with latte)


DEVIN 

I drew you again.


STELLA 

With horns?


DEVIN 

Of course.


(DEVIN pulls out a new picture but it’s not anime. It is STELLA as the evil queen with a knight bowing down to her)


STELLA 

Are you the knight bowing down before his queen?


DEVIN 

Do you want me to be?


(STELLA’s eyes narrow and she gives him a stern look)


STELLA 

What’s going on here?


DEVIN 

What do you mean?


STELLA 

You’re being… nice to me… very nice.


DEVIN 

Don’t you like it?


(STELLA tries to hide a smile that is struggling to break free of her frown)


STELLA 

Maybe.


DEVIN 

Stella. I’d like to see you.


STELLA 

I’m right here.


DEVIN 

I mean, more than here at your restaurant. I’d like to get you out of that uniform.


STELLA 

What?!


DEVIN 

I mean… get you into something more comfortable… I mean, non-working. You know… or fancy… or…


STELLA 

Is that your weird way of asking me on a date?


DEVIN 

It is.


STELLA 

Okay.


DEVIN 

Okay?


STELLA 

Okay, I’ll go on a date with you.


DEVIN 

You will?


STELLA 

I will. But you better think of something good.


DEVIN 

How about a movie?


STELLA 

No.


DEVIN 

Uh… shopping?


STELLA 

No.


DEVIN 

Ummm.


STELLA 

I’ll go work on your breakfast and you give it some thought.


DEVIN 

Thanks, Stella.


STELLA

What for?


DEVIN 

For not giving up on me.


STELLA 

You’re worth it.


END OF SCRIPT


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Or purchase a Word document version: https://sellfy.com/p/Zj5D/